4 comments Thursday, November 29, 2007

The greatness of Thursdays is enormous. Beside the 3 days included in the weekend, Thursday is my most favorite day of the week and in one special Thursday in February it trumps all months. There are a various reasons I enjoy this day. A few of them are: The Office is on, an occasional NFL game is on, NBA on ESPN, and reruns of Intervention.


None of those reasons will even come close to what my Thursday is all about. My enjoyment of Thursdays comes from one reason... a piece of mail. If that piece of mail were to come on Monday, then yes, Mondays would be my favorite day of the week. There is more than just one reason I enjoy this piece of mail. It allows me to do so much more than just open it. I get to do things I normally wouldn’t do, things that would normally make me uncomfortable, or even vulnerable. I’m sure you are thinking its Maxim Magazine, or the Victoria Secret catalog. It could be National Geographic or those coupon adds for $.99 pastries from Safeway. Nope to all of those possibilities. This item is the one, the only, most greatest magazine of all time….. Sports Illustrated.


At 4:30 on ever Thursday night my plans are already made. I gently remove the magazine from the mail box. I then set it down neatly on my dining room table. Next, I turn on Spike TV with the hope that there will be machine gun fire for manly ambient noise. (Now this is the part I would not normally do, but given the manly surroundings I have made myself it is null and void.) I then pour a small amount of bubble bath into the tub and then yes, I turn on the faucet. Then I gently wrap my SI into a bath towel to protect its delicate surface, set it on the floor next to the tub as it fills. Once to the capacity of the tub is to my liking, I slowly guide myself into the tub as to not splash droplets of water onto my precious.


I generally read the whole entire thing with exceptions to the junk about girl sports. I finish up with Rick Reilly as his insight into the sporting spirit is astounding, plus it’s the last article of the magazine. When I feel I have successfully achieved my sports high, I gently return the delicate magazine back into its bath towel. Then with one final thing I would never do on any other day of the week, I give myself a very manly manicure.

5 comments Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I am currently in the process of maybe, possibly, could happen to be, in just a little while longer, be engaged to the most beautiful woman of all time. What I’m trying to figure out is how I got to this point. I’m going to list the reasons why I was going to be the second or third to last person to get married out of my group of friends. Ironically I can do no better than second. Please see my nerd proclamation below:

  • I once had an AMD 350 MHz, 512g Ram, 500mb hard drive computer with a VooDoo 3 video card and it was the fastest computer on the block.
  • I worked at Ultimate Electronics.
  • I played G.I. Joes with John and was jealous of his sweet collection.
  • I didn’t need up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A, start to beat Contra.
  • Belle from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast was/is a babe.
  • I was scared of Velociraptors till I was 16.
  • I’ve ran the Patriot Act on friends just for fun.
  • I do my own taxes
  • I’ve read all the Harry Potters.
  • I’ve read 90% of Isaac Asimov and Orson Scott Card.
  • I can quote Top Gun as if it were a primary song.
  • I cried in Armageddon.
  • Surround sound is a necessity not a want.
  • Any monitor under 19’ is unacceptable
  • Anything less than dual monitors is unacceptable
  • I’ve achieved level 31 in BrickBreaker
  • I played the clarinet
  • I’ve seen every episode of Star Trek TNG
  • I use a BlackBerry
  • I have 4 calculators and they all have names, so far Kyle gets the most use
  • Numbers make more sense than words
  • I work for a major finance company with over $98 billion in assets
  • Legal terms excite me
  • Zombies are the shizzle
  • I use the word shizzle
  • I love the old Transformers and new
  • I know the tax laws in New York
  • Halo is awesome, Quake at xMission is even better
  • I’ve read Stephan Hawking books
  • I know how to fly airplanes
  • I wear argyle sweaters
  • I’ve seen all the Aliens, Predator and Terminator movies
  • Widescreen makes me happy
  • My PC has the following programs on it:
      • Cubase SX3
      • Reason 4.0
      • Sony Vegas Pro 8
      • Adobe CS3
      • Azureus
      • Nero 8
      • Office 2007
      • iTunes
      • Call of Duty 4: Modern Warefare
      • Star Trek TNG screen saver (thanks Brev)
  • My Mac has the following programs on it:
      • Cubase SX3
      • Reason 4.0
      • Final Cut Pro 6
      • Adobe CS3
      • Azureus
      • Toast 8
      • Keynote
      • Adium
I’m sure most of you know that this is not even a scratch on the surface. I’m not questioning my nerdness; I’m questioning my future wife’s sanity.


Live long and prosper.